Posted: Wed, 26 Jan 2011, 19:14
Wydaje mi się, że ten wywiad nie był jeszcze przytaczany:
Michael mówi w nim, że nie chciałby się zestarzeć, że zawsze chce być młody. Nienawidzi, kiedy ludzie się starzeją. Jednocześnie mówi, że chce żyć dla dzieci, bo są darem od Boga i że chce w pewnym momencie zniknąć, żeby móc się zajmować dziećmi, ale żeby nikt go nie mógł zobaczyć. Bardzo ciekawe. Wynika z tego, że chce pozostać w pamięci jako młody i energiczny, boi się śmierci i nie chce, żeby ludzie widzieli, jak się starzeje. Niestety wynika też z tego, że nawet jeśli żyje, to już nigdy go nie zobaczymy.Shmuley Boteach: So would you say the best thing that's ever happened to the Beatles is the fact that they broke up, and that's why they had this longevity, because suddenly, kaboom!, they weren't around anymore, so you could never get bored of them? They never fizzled?
Michael Jackson: Yeah, Marilyn Monroe died young. You didn't get to see her grow old and ugly. I mean that's the mystery of James Dean.
SB: And people say about the Beatles, "I wish they were together."
MJ: Absolutely, or else they'd be funky and old now and you wouldn't care.
SB: So is that an argument, Michael, for you to say one day, "That's it," and quit?
MJ: Yeah, I would like some kind of way to disappear where people don't see me anymore at some point, and just do my thing for children but not be visual. To disappear is very important. We are people of change. We need change in our lives. That's why we have winter, spring, summer, fall.
Here, I started to get worried about what Michael meant by "disappear." It's one thing to leave show business. It's another to harbor a death wish. So I said...
SB: Okay, but you want a long life and a healthy life. You don't want to disappear like, God forbid, the way some of those stars have disappeared, the way Marilyn Monroe has. You don't want to die young?
MJ: Um, you're asking me an interesting question. You sure you want my answer?
SB: I do.
MJ: Okay, I'll give you my honest answer. Okay, um. My greatest dream that I have left - I have accomplished my dreams with music and all that and I love music and entertainment - is this children's innitiative, is this thing that we are doing. But, um, 'cause I don't care about [anything else], I really don't, I don't care about [career], I honestly don't Shmuley. What keeps me going is children, or else I would, I would seriously...I've told you this before, I swear to God I mean every word. I would, I would just throw in the towel if it wasn't for children or babies. And that's my real, my honest [answer]...and I've said it before, if it weren't for children, I would choose death. I mean it with all my heart.
And his voice had the ring of truth. His comments were alarming in the extreme. Did Michael just tell me he would choose death? I couldn't believe it. So I asked him to clarify.
SB: Choose death the way Marilyn Monroe chose death?
MJ: Some kind of way. I would find a way to go away off the planet 'cause I wouldn't care about living anymore. I'm living for these babies and children.
SB: You see them as really a part, a spark of God here on earth?
MJ: I swear they are.
SB: So for you it's the most spiritual thing in the world?
MJ: There is nothing more pure and spiritual to me than children and I cannot live without them. If you told me right now, "Michael, you can never see another child," I would kill myself. I swear to you I would because I have nothing else to live for. That's it. Honestly.
I was startled and shaken. I had to bring him back to his senses, so I said...
SB: So do you want to have a long life?
MJ: Let me take back that word swear, 'cause I don't swear to God. I take that back. I don't want to use that word. say this question again?
SB: You said you want to disappear. Do you think it's important to disappear?
MJ: I don't want a long [life]...I don't like, I don't, I don't. I think growing old is the ugliest, the most, the ugliest thing. When the body breaks down and you start to wrinkle, I think it's so bad. I don't, that's something I don't understand, Shmuley. And I never want to look in the mirror and see that. I don't understand it. I really don't. And people say that growing old is beautiful and it's this and that. I disagree. I totally do.
SB: So you want to die before that happens?
MJ: Um...I don't want to grow old. I would like to get...
I know that I shouldn't have been cutting Michael off in the midst of such a seminal subject [that's right!], but his hinting at suicide was extremely troubling, and I felt the immediate need to inspire him to choose life. So I said...
SB: What if you could stay young in spirirt Michael?
MJ: Yeah, that's important to me.
SB: You may have wrinkles, but don't you want to see Prince and Paris grow up?
MJ: Yes, I do.
SB: Don't you want to see their children?
MJ: I just don't want to look old and start forgetting. I want to always be youthful and have the energy to run around and play hide and seek, which is one of my favorite games. I wanted to play it so badly at your house the last time we were there 'cause you have a nice big house for it. Um, I hate to see people grow old, Shmuley.
Yes, we could talk about hide and seek, but not when Michael was discussing the possibility of his suicide. So I brought him back again to the possibility of growing old yet remaining youthful and vibrant.
SB: Haven't you seen people who grew old but kept their youthfulness. They behaved like they were still young?
MJ: Yeah, when they have a youthful heart, I love that. When they start to forget and wrinkle, [and] their body parts break down, it hurts me. Or when they get...
SB: Who has that happened to among the people you've loved? [...]
SB: But what happened to [Princess] Diana, that was a great tragedy, Michael.
I was trying to remind him that no matter how painful it was to grow old, dying a young, tragic death was much worse.
MJ: That was a great tragedy. That killed me. That killed everybody, I think.
SB: It's not good to die young. It may make you into a myth, Michael. But life is too precious, no?
MJ: Life is very beautiful and precious.
[...]
SB: Are you afraid of death?
MJ: Yes.
[...]